Divorce Counseling Sherman Oaks | Divorce: Making the best of a bad situation

Divorce counseling Sherman Oaks with Linda Engel. The decision to terminate a marriage is a profound step towards beginning a more effective and satisfying life. One of the most important issues to keep in mind during the process is what your goal is. So, for example, if your goal is to have a healthy coparenting relationship, then you will approach the negotiations with that idea in mind. If your goal is to have an equitable settlement and you happen to be dealing with a particularly difficult spouse, it may serve you better to communicate through attorneys. “Just the facts” and keeping it simple will head off lots of unpleasant and ugly conversations. Negotiations to end a relationship are always difficult due to the emotions involved. Be sure to keep in mind that you want things to be fair, not that you need to punish your partner.

Consider this: Think about the type of emotions involved when you are planning a vacation or a party, any sort of a celebration. Although it may be a lot of work, the idea and the motivation behind it are very different and therefore make it much easier to do.

If you need divorce counseling sherman oaks, remember that most people do not get to the point of divorce without some serious consideration, particularly where there are children involved. If you can keep in mind a few important ideas, the transition, albeit painful, can be a bit smoother.

Remember that no relationship is a mistake nd that we learn important things about ourselves in each one. It is sad when people who come together for love cannot remain together, but it need not be tragic.

Divorce can be an empowering and freeing event ultimately. You can even teach children wonderful lessons about ending or changing relationships with grace and dignity. You need NOT be bitter in the end. Of course, at first, often there is a lot of anger and a sense of betrayal. Actually, one of the stages of grief is anger. Divorce is a loss and the relationship must be grieved properly. It IS important t have a healthy outlet for the anger. It may be a support group, healthy friends, a therapist or a religious leader. You will need a supportive ear to listen to your feelings. Usually underneath the anger is fear and hurt. the fear could be financial or emotional.

You may be asking yourself questions like “How will I survive? Will I be judged? Will I ever have love again?” The longer the marriage was, the more difficult it is to recover. Some psychologists believe that for every five years of a marriage that it takes up to one year to heal. But heal, you can. With the proper support and the right attitude, your divorce can go from a painful and overwhelming ending of a union to a beautiful new path to a lifestyle that is more fitting to the person that you have become.

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